The Incredible Hink
by Louise Hargadon
Summary: *Re-Post* After destroying one of the Professor's experiments, Gilligan seeks refuge in a quiet place with his favourite comic book. Real Life suddenly takes a far more exciting turn than he'd ever expected!


_**A/N:** I can't remember exactly where this came from. But I imagine it had something to do with **Teobi**... _

_The avatar isn't really mine. It's been doing the rounds on Facebook for months. The caption reads, '"You won't like me when I'm angry... because I always back up my arguments with facts from documented sources" - The Credible Hulk'. Which is perfectly Proffy!_

_For Teebs and **JWood201**, as ever. Thanks for having me back again. _

_**Disclaimers:** Firstly, and most importantly - **Gilligan's Island** belongs to the dearly loved, much-missed **Sherwood Schwartz**. I'm just borrowing four of the castaways for a little while!_

_Secondly, **The Incredible Hulk** is the collective brainchild of **Stan Lee **and the late, great **Jack Kirby**,and belongs to the boys and girls at **Marvel Entertainment**. I borrow the X-Men often enough for fanfiction purposes, so I'm sure Stan won't mind me borrowing the Hulk for a change, but if he wants to talk to me about it, I'll be 'helping' the Edward Norton incarnation of Bruce Banner with his 'research'._

**The Incredible Hink**

"_Nooo_!"

With a blood-curdling cry of anguish, Roy Hinkley's shoulders dropped in despair as he looked at the carnage that had been wreaked on the supply hut. Once again, his precious experiment had been destroyed by the phenomenon that was Hurricane Gilligan.

He didn't even know how Gilligan did it. After the evening meal one night, Professor had, with his own two eyes, seen Gilligan hiccup at one end of the table, and his hiccup had been so loud and forceful that a plate at the other end of the table had fallen off and smashed into pieces. It was an accident, but an accident that could never have happened to anyone else but Gilligan.

Gilligan's ability to wreak havoc was, for want of a better term, a gift. Once again, Gilligan had unleashed his 'gift' on the Professor's poor, unsuspecting supply hut.

"Gee... I'm sorry, Professor," Gilligan apologised, his blue-green eyes filled with sorrow.

"Sorry?" the Professor repeated, barely able to choke his words out. "Do you have any idea how long I was working on that experiment, Gilligan?" he demanded.

"About ten minutes?" Gilligan suggested with a hopeful smile - a smile which disintegrated as he met the Professor's withering glare.

"Three weeks!" the Professor shouted, his face turning red and the vein in his temple beginning to visibly throb. Gilligan's eyes widened in shock. He had never seen the Professor so angry before.

"I... I said I was sorry!" he protested.

"Three weeks of slaving away, in this makeshift lab. Trying to get the right combinations of chemicals together to make a sufficiently powerful adhesive so I could finally fix _The Minnow_!" he ranted.

"I thought you were making some sort of glue?" Gilligan muttered. The Professor chose to ignore him and continued in his tirade.

"I've had to resort to using bamboo and a coconut shell as my pestle and mortar! My measurements of the various components used in the mixture are no more accurate than sheer guesswork! And then what happens? What _always_ happens to my experiments? _You_ happen, Gilligan! You!" he shouted, his blue eyes flashing with rage.

"Let me clear it up for you Professor, I'll help you make your experiment again!" Gilligan promised fervently. The Professor instantly seemed to calm down. Gilligan couldn't really help it. Shouting at Gilligan was like kicking a puppy. He was always sorry. He never meant it. He only ever wanted to help. The Professor just wished that Gilligan would help in a less destructive manner.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, Gilligan. I was just frustrated that my plans to get us all off this island had failed yet again," he explained, sadly.

"Let me help, Professor. You can count on me!" Gilligan assured him. The Professor shook his head vigorously.

"No, Gilligan. Really. It's fine. Why don't you just... go someplace you won't get into any trouble?" he suggested, wearily, throwing his hands up in despair as he tried to decide where exactly he should start to clear things up.

"Okay, Professor," Gilligan replied, dejectedly, his lower lip jutting out in a spectacular pout as he trudged back to his own hut. "Someplace where I won't get into any trouble? I don't think there even is such a place," he grumbled to himself.

He settled himself into his hammock, dug into his pocket and pulled out his new comic book. It had washed up on the island a few months earlier, and after carefully drying it out in the sun he had managed to read it at least dozen times from cover to cover. It was about one of his favourite heroes, The Incredible Hulk. The story was about The Incredible Hulk's latest enemy, The Abomination, who had kidnapped Bruce Banner's one true love, Betty Ross, and smashed up Bruce's lab. Gilligan couldn't help but remember how angry the Professor had been earlier on that day, and that he was also a man of science - every bit as brilliant as Bruce Banner. He was distracted from reading as he imagined what would happen if the Professor had ever been subjected to the same levels of gamma radiation as Bruce Banner had been.

He was startled by a loud roaring noise coming from the direction of the supply hut, and attempted to leap out of his hammock to find out what was going on. Unfortunately, he didn't quite have the right angle of leverage and ended up spinning round twice in the hammock before falling face first onto the floor. Stifling a groan of pain, Gilligan scrambled to his feet, adjusted his hat, pulled down his rugby shirt and ventured outside. He skidded to a halt as a female scream pierced through the air.

"Mary Ann!" he exclaimed in horror, starting to run on the spot like Tom and Jerry did in the cartoons, before speeding towards the supply hut.

"Oh! Help me, Gilligan! Oh! Oh! Help me!" Mary Ann cried. Gilligan stood rooted to the spot in fear as he saw the door frame to the supply hut burst open. Bamboo splintered and cracked, and broken chips of the bamboo projected outwards with some considerable, vicious force. They looked like miniature daggers, all seeming to home themselves in the general direction of Gilligan. He ducked to the floor, covering his head with his hands, and could feel the remnants of door missing him by a hair's breadth.

He finally stood up and took in the scene before him. More terrifying than the force of the exploding door frame was the sight which Gilligan now beheld. Mary Ann, with her little legs akimbo, had been thrown over the shoulder of a giant green monster with a peculiarly sensible haircut - her cries for mercy from her captor falling upon evidently deaf ears. The monster must have been at least ten feet tall and six feet wide. His skin was a dark green colour, and his clothes were freshly ripped. Remnants of pale blue shirt still clung for dear life onto the contours of his oversized, mutated chest. His trousers had inexplicably managed to remain intact around the thighs, barely managing to contain the monster's dignity.

Gilligan stared at him in fearful awe, his jaw dropped in amazement, feeling as though he were a pebble stood beside a mountain. He was so busy trying to figure out whether he should feel more excited than afraid or not, that he barely even had time to realise that all he could see of Mary Ann was her bottom and flailing legs.

"Coconut shell broken!" the creature roared. "Precious experiment destroyed!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Mary Ann wailed.

"_HINK ANGRY_!" he boomed, the sound waves knocking Gilligan off his feet.

"Professor?" Gilligan squeaked in wonder, taking his hat off and scratching his head in confusion. The monster turned and glared at him. Gilligan could see the vein in the monster's temple begin to throb at the sight of him.

"HINK _MORE_ ANGRY!" the monster hollered, raising his hand in the air and making a fist. Gilligan gasped.

"Is that you, Professor?" he asked, looking the huge green beast up and down in astonishment.

The monster's hair looked much like the Professor's, and although only a few torn shreds of what had once been the Professor's blue shirt remained on the monster's giant body, Gilligan saw that the monster was wearing a pair of white socks with black and red bands around the top, pulled so high up they half-covered his shins. Not even a rapid growth rate had been able to cause as much as a tear in them.

"Keep out of Hink business!" the creature demanded.

"Put Mary Ann down... _Hink_!" Gilligan insisted in his deepest, most authoritative voice, trying to channel the same sort of bravery his heroes had shown in other comic books. He was pretty sure that Thor would never have stood for this sort of nonsense from a giant green monster.

"HINK... _SMASH_!" the monster roared, smashing his clenched fist onto the sand, the ensuing earth tremor knocking poor Gilligan off his feet again.

Gilligan had, by now, had more than enough of being thrown to the ground by the vibrations made from the fist and vocal cords of an oversized green scientist. He stood up, dusted the sand from his sleeves, fixed his hat firmly on his head and stuck his jaw out firmly in derision.

"Put Mary Ann down!" he commanded, retaining his best authoritative tone. "I'm not afraid of you!" he added, completely untruthfully. "Unless you're going to eat me!" he quantified.

"Hink not eat puny human! Hink _ANGRY_!" the beast shouted back at him. Gilligan breathed a sigh of relief that at least the Professor didn't consider him to be a quick snack.

"Wait, wait, I think I can fix this!" a voice behind Gilligan called. Gilligan turned around and to his surprise he saw Ginger running towards them, wearing her glasses and lab-coat.

"You, Ginger?" Gilligan asked, his voice squeaking slightly in surprise. Ginger gave him a brief smile and wrinkled her nose.

"Never underestimate the power of a woman, Gilligan," she advised, as she sashayed over to the monster. "Professor?" she asked, quietly. The monster grunted in surprise and looked down at Ginger.

"Ginger?" he growled.

"How come he recognises you, Ginger?" Gilligan asked, confused. Ginger smiled softly but didn't reply.

"Yes, that's right. It's me, Ginger. Why don't you calm down, and we'll all help you to fix your experiment?" she suggested, tugging gently at the top of his socks. The monster's eyes briefly softened, before he became angry again at the remembrance of his destroyed experiment.

"Experiment ruined!" he bellowed. If Gilligan didn't know any better, he would have sworn the monster had tears in his eyes.

"It isn't ruined. We can fix it! Just like we always do. We always work together, right? We always find a way to make things work," she reminded him.

"Boat broken!" the monster reminded her. "Experiment ruined!" he repeated, his big, green shoulders dropping in despair. "All Hink fault!"

"No, no, Professor, it isn't your fault!" Ginger assured him in a soothing tone, stroking his shin softly. "It was an accident!" she reminded him.

"Mare-ee Ann scared," the monster told her, sorrowfully, suddenly sounding like a bizarre cross between King Kong and Cary Grant. "Hink sad."

"Well, if you put her down, she'll stop being scared," Gilligan suggested. The monster looked up sharply at Gilligan, who raised his hands in defence. Then the creature looked down at Ginger and, as their eyes met, Ginger saw the monster's eyes flicker in remorse.

"It's all right. Really," she reassured him, in the sort of low, soothing tone one would use to calm down an hysterical child. Or, at least in this instance, an hysterical, oversized, dark green genius child in his late thirties.

Gilligan hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until the monster finally placed Mary Ann gently on the floor. He felt quite giddy as he heaved a sigh of relief when he knew she was safe. She instantly ran to Gilligan and threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Gilligan! You tried to fight it off to save me!" she declared. Gilligan blushed and tugged at the front of his hat awkwardly.

"It's nothing, Mary Ann, I'll always save you from monsters. Always," he told her, tightening his grip around her waist as he hugged her back.

"Oh, Gilligan, you're so brave!" she sighed, happily.

"I'll always save you," he repeated. "Always save you."

"Gilligan?" Mary Ann asked, looking confused.

"I'll always save you, Mary Ann," he repeated.

"Gilligan?" she called.

"Always," he mumbled, closing his eyes briefly as he cuddled closer into Mary Ann.

"GILLIGAN!" she shouted, shaking him vigorously. Gilligan's eyes opened wide and he was momentarily rather puzzled to find himself lying in his hammock, clinging tightly onto his pillow.

"How did I get here?" he asked, confused.

"You've been asleep, Gilligan!" she told him, ruffling his hair with her fingers. "You were talking in your sleep, too. You must have had a crazy dream. Why would you need to save me from monsters?" she asked, gently. He blushed.

"I had a dream that the Professor turned into the Incredible Hulk! His experiment had gone wrong and he'd tried to kidnap you, you'd broken a coconut shell and he was angry!" he explained. Mary Ann burst out laughing.

"Oh, Gilligan! Poor Professor! Why would he get so mad about a coconut shell breaking? You break them all the time!" she reminded him. He nodded.

"He was so sore at me before, I really thought he was going to go pop!" he confided. She giggled. "But it wasn't really me that saved you, Mary Ann. It was Ginger," he explained. Mary Ann frowned.

"Ginger?" she repeated. Gilligan nodded.

"She calmed the monster down and then he put you back on the floor. But I tried to stand up to him, Mary Ann, I really tried!" he explained. She smiled and squeezed his arm lovingly.

"Gilligan, I don't think anyone would protect me from monsters better than you would," she answered, truthfully. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on his cheek. She was a little surprised and utterly delighted that he didn't even try to wriggle away from her.

"What was that for?" he whispered, a little embarrassed.

"Just to thank you for saving me from the monster," she whispered back. He beamed at her.

"I'll always save you, Mary Ann. Always," he promised her.

**THE END**


End file.
